How to Boost Your Digital Well-being

Digital well-being is more than an app or a setting on your computer. This article is about your relationship with your devices, whether you’re on Android or Apple. You can apply the principles in this article to your everyday life starting today.

Digital well-being, by definition, is the amount which your digital life helps or hurts your well-being.

To start thinking about digital well-being, try asking yourself these questions:

• How much time do you spend online?
• Do you feel lost without your phone?
• When you don’t get a response to a text, do you feel agitated or sad?

No matter how you answer, it’s always good to check in with yourself about your online experiences.

Digital well-being includes these three things:

1. Physical tools you use to manage the amount of time you spend online.
2. Being aware of your behaviors and habits while online.
3. Working with emotional tools to respond to your experiences online in a healthier way.

When I’m camping in Colorado, I feel confident, fulfilled, and inspired. Upon reflection, I realize a big reason for these feelings is that my phone is out of range. When I can’t rely on my phone, I don’t!

While we were camping at a lake recently, the monsoon rains kicked in. We had to retreat to the tent for a few hours, while thunder cracked outside.

During our afternoon retreat, my husband read Dune and I read Dune Messiah. We chit-chatted about the characters while the rain pounded on the outer shell of the tent. It’s funny, but those hours were among my favorite, even though we were “trapped” inside.

As you do your own exploration, consider what it feels like when you detach from your device for an hour or more.

One tool that you might find helpful as you start your exploration: Google’s Digital Well-Being App. This app is a great place to start because it helps you understand how you spend time online. Once you see your patterns, you might want to get more intentional about your phone usage.

Google’s Well-being App does the following:

• Shows you how often you use different apps.
• Shows how often you check your phone.
• Allows you to set limits that can help protect your sleep and focus.

Knowing your current digital habits is a good step in understanding yourself.

Like most people, I assumed that setting limits and trying to detach from my phone would be good for my well-being.

But if a digital well-being tool’s primary purpose is to help us be on our phones less, this means there is a built-in assumption that more time online leads to worse well-being.

After some research, I realized that isn’t necessarily true. Apps designed specifically for wellness can be useful provided they don’t become another form of online addiction.

Although movies like The Social Dilemma point to clear problems with how Internet apps intentionally cause addictive behaviors, there’s more to the story. However, it’s worth informing yourself to get real about what you’re getting into. For example, did you know that app designers are trained in psychological techniques that get users addicted?

Yes, slightly scary to know how we’re being manipulated. Using psychology, app designers know how to make us reliant upon their apps.

I notice that membership sites and online schools have a way of sucking you into complicated online portals. I recently tried a popular membership site promoting mindfulness and healthy habits. I won’t criticize it by name, because I believe there is a lot of good in this particular program.

Unfortunately for me, the online program wasn’t what I needed at the time; I was already frazzled from being on screens all day at work. To keep up with the curriculum, the online communities, and the spreadsheet tracking system, I would have had to spend an additional two hours online per day!

I requested a refund because the program only added to my to-do list. It left me feeling more frazzled. That might not be the case for you, but it was for me—I needed to get away from screens.

The psychological pull of apps is especially tough for those prone to addictions. However, the research shows that some apps improve feelings of well-being for some people in certain situations.

In fact, Hopelab published a study showing that young people who suffer from depression benefited from learning about other people’s health stories through blogs, podcasts, and videos. Overall, research reviews suggest that technology use is not bad for all and not bad in all circumstances. Given the research, behavioral and emotional tools are also useful.

In other words, it’s best to avoid apps or experiences that make you feel bad. Sounds simple, right? Obviously, then, you’d only choose to use apps that give us feel-good experiences.

External tools are helpful to a degree. But at a certain point, your own self-reflection is the most important tool to decide how you spend your time and make decisions. Your experiences online are mostly within your control.

Fortunately, many of the emotional tools you need for digital well-being are the very same emotional tools you need for a mindful daily life. You just need to apply them in your digital life, too. Let’s explore some useful tips:

1. Be More Mindful
   When you’re more mindful of how you live your digital life, naturally you pay more attention to your experiences and emotions. Not only that, but you also pay attention to others. With heightened awareness, it’s easier to make decisions that help you feel gratitude for the good and make better decisions about managing the bad.
   
   Small Steps, Big Joy is a great place to start for doable exercises that help you take a mindful approach to daily life. (Ok, I’m biased! Duly noted!).
   
2. Focus on Others
   When you’re on social media, you focus mostly on yourself, even if you think you’re not. Whether you’re making conscious decisions or following impulses, you’re focused on your own feelings, opinions, and experiences.
   
   Research shows that kindness towards others is one of the best ways to boost well-being. So when you’re online, consider how to bring some kindness into your online choices, instead of focusing on yourself.
   
   I use the Charity Miles app which gives donations to charities while you log miles on the trail (or road) hiking, running, and biking. I love the Facebook community because people encourage each other and stay motivated through kindness to each other. I like seeing how people inspire their workouts by earning money for their chosen charity.
   
   I would also add that LinkedIn has become a more nurturing environment for people looking to connect with causes, organizations, and people. If you haven’t checked it out in a while, you might be surprised.
   
3. Find (and Share) the Good Things
   While online, try to look for the good things or the silver linings. If you find something positive, consider sharing it with others (#SilverLinings). Practicing this skill both on and offline can help you improve your well-being.
   
4. Practice Gratitude Online
   Gratitude is great for well-being, and you can practice it both on and offline.
   
   Three easy ways to practice gratitude online:
   
   • Gratitude journaling apps
   • Share your gratitude in text messages
   • Create a gratitude collection on Pinterest.
   
   As with all things digital, remember to monitor how much time you are spending as well as how you feel about engaging with others online in this way. If you find you’re spending more time on gratitude apps than living your life with presence, it might be a good idea to set limits for yourself.
   
5. Cultivate Self-Esteem
   The stories and messages people post on social media can sometimes make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe you don’t feel attractive enough or popular enough. Right now, there’s quite a few people promoting their amazing digital nomad lifestyles, claiming they can show you how to make 6 figures doing what they did.
   
   It’s easy to compare yourself to others because everyone presents their best, most photographic selves online. They’re purposefully curating the enticing parts of their daily lives, not the hard work it took to accomplish their dreamy situation.
   
   To counteract negative self-talk, try to spend more of your digital life doing things that boost self-esteem (like learning skills or making content) and less time obsessing over what everyone else is doing.
   
   For a refreshing perspective on this topic, try The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. But only check it out if you have a sense of humor and you’re ok with the f-word.

Digital well-being is now an important part of overall well-being. It’s essential to your happiness to know how to reflect on your digital usage. Keep in mind that moderation is key to everything you do online. Also, remember that it’s possible to spread positivity and well-being online without falling prey to the downsides of using technology.

You might enjoy using an app to support your meditation practice, for example. Or it might be time to unplug.

Rideout, V., & Fox, S. (2018). Digital health practices, social media use, and mental well-being among teens and young adults in the US.
Verduyn, P., et al. (2017). “Do Social Network Sites Enhance or Undermine Subjective Well‐Being? A Critical Review.” Social Issues and Policy Review 11(1): 274-302.
Ingram, R. E. 1990. “Self-Focused Attention in Clinical Disorders: Review and a Conceptual Model.” Psychological Bulletin 107 (2): 156–176.